Today we progress down the aisles of your favorite grocery store child free (what, child free? There’s such a thing as a grocery store child free??). If you missed out on the fun of last week’s post check it out here.
4. The Grocery Store Shamble
Makin’ a list, checkin’ it twice. Or three times. And a couple more in the store, because Daddy (or Gramma, or babysitter) stayed home with the kiddos and its Mommy’s alone time. Your list is in store order, you’ve estimated what it’s going to cost and it adheres precisely to your meal plan for this week. As you saunter into the store, carrier and diaper bag free, you begin to ponder what fruit you ought to buy. After selecting what actually is the most mid-ripe bunch of bananas, you meander over to the yogurt aisle looking for a good probiotic. You compare prices on two or three items and decide to go with “most probiotics” instead of “cheapest”; you’ll make up for the dollar difference somewhere else during your trip, so as to not go over the estimated budget. Throughout the rest of the trip you gaily step – nay, skip – down the aisles, not caring if you must make a trek all the way back across the store to compare two similar items; you have time. Glorious time!
You check out the mark down meat section and score a pound of ground beef for half the price it usually is. Fist pump. As you make your way to the check out, you revel in the fact that it doesn’t matter which checking choice you make. You decide to self-check because you didn’t have much to buy and you don’t want the usually inept baggers to squish your spinach under your bananas, again. After ringing up each item and doing a happy dance that your price estimation was only a couple of dollars under the actual price, you load up your groceries into the cart and jovially make your way out to the parking lot. You sprint to the car chasing the cart, because secretly it’s as fun for you as it is for your kids. Your groceries are loaded up and you’re on your way home. You have time still, maybe you stop for a quick cup of coffee. Maybe not “quick”. Upon arrival at home, coffee in hand you start unloading the groceries reveling in your good work. . . Too bad you forgot the bread.
5. The Play Time dance
“How can I feed this dinosaur, who eats my lunch and asks for more? More, more, more, more, more! Never own a dinosaur.” *rrooooaaaaarrrr*
One of your favorite childhood songs (by Sandra Boynton on Rhinoceros Tap) is playing. And there’s a baby nearby. Fortunately it’s your baby. You start the song over, pick up your baby and hoist him into the air. As the song begins you hold your baby out in front of you and start stomping around the room swinging him back and forth. *stomp stomp stomp stomp* “How can I feed this dinosaur” *stomp stomp stomp stomp* “who eats my lunch and asks for more” *stomp stomp stomp stomp* Baby giggles. Baby keeps giggling.
As you sing along with the song and continue to stomp around the room like a goof ball your baby giggles and keeps giggling. This is the longest you’ve ever seen him laugh and his giggle is infectious. You try not to join in so you can keep singing, so he will keep laughing, because it is the cutest thing you have ever seen in your entire life. Who cares if your arms are getting tired from holding your seemingly giant baby at arm’s length for three minutes? It doesn’t matter that both your arms and legs feel like they’re about to fall off from hoisting your tiny little giggle-pot up and down on the “More, more, more, more, more!” parts. Because you are (finally!) bonding with your precious pumpkin. You’d march around forever just to make him laugh. The song ends and you stop stomping, breathing hard.
. . . Okay, maybe not forever.
6. The Morning Leap
The Morning leap is not something that happens every day. Or even every week. Honestly, it might not even happen once a year. But it is so exciting that you can’t help but jump around like a crazy person (or maybe just sit still and drink come coffee in peace).
It’s 8am. 8 o’clock in the morning. 8. Eight.
This is usually not an important number. By now, on a usual day, you’ve been up for 2-3 hours because, unless you have a baby who sleeps as well as Mozart composes, babies (or toddlers) like to wake up early. But today. Today some miracle has occurred and your child is still sleeping. How this has happened, you are not sure. While you lay in bed, toddler free, you begin to analyze last night’s bedtime routine. Perhaps you can achieve this every morning! Yeah right. You dismiss this idea and bounce out of bed. There is coffee to bed had, breakfast to be eaten! And who knows how long it will be before your tiny human will awake. Thank all things good and holy that it’s one of those days where you don’t have to be anywhere before noon. Double miracle.
At first you begin to rush through your morning “get around and put on real clothes” routine, but then stop and slow down a bit. Just a bit. Slowing down too much will, of course, result in your child not only awakening, but sensing that you are in no hurry. Therefore, promptly screeching that she must be attended to, instead of gurgling and cooing and chewing on her fingers like she usually does upon waking. You quietly make it through your morning routine; you even have time to put in your contacts and do your makeup. Your coffee is hot. Your breakfast is ready. Nothing could spoil this moment. Except the baby waking, of course. You peak in her room. Still asleep. Somehow.
Ten minutes later you’re scrolling through Pinterest, empty cereal bowl in front of you, half-finished coffee in hand. You hear a noise. Not a screech of raptor-like proportions, just some gurgling and blabbering coming from the baby’s room. Today you aren’t blinking awake trying to pretend it’s not 5 or 6am. You’re not sleepily groping for your glasses hoping that the coos don’t turn to screams before you find them. Today you win. Today, you are on the ball. On a roll. Killing it.
You set down your coffee and bound to your feet. “I’m coming, baby!” As you leap towards her room you vaguely wish this could happen every day. You know it won’t. You also know that her sleeping in will probably result in some horrific nap time battles, but that’s okay. You got to drink a whole cup of coffee in peace and get dressed at your speed instead of the speed of light and it is enough.